Anger Management Therapy in California

With Mark Spurlock, LMFT 45318, by secure video across California.

Anger arrives fast and costs you later. A sharp word at dinner. An email you wish you could take back. A look on your child’s face that stays with you. Anger is often the part other people see. Under it there is usually stress, shame, or feeling unheard. I work with men and women by secure video anywhere in California.

What an anger problem looks like

At home:

The same argument, louder each time
A spouse or children who go quiet when you walk in
Apologies that are starting to wear thin

At work:

A short fuse with coworkers or customers
Feedback that lands as an attack
A warning from a supervisor

Inside:

Zero to sixty with no warning
Regret an hour later
A fear that you are becoming someone you do not want to be

What sits under the anger

Anger is rarely the first feeling. It usually covers something older and quieter: hurt, fear, shame, or the sense that no one is listening. I use a method I call Emotional Mapping to trace the anger back to the wound underneath. When you can name what is under it, you have a choice you did not have before.

How we work on it

Map what sets it off. People, places, times of day, and the thoughts that light the fuse.
Catch it early. Your body signals anger before your mouth does. We learn your signals.
Build the pause. Practical ways to step back without storming off.
Say the hard thing well. Clear, direct words that do not do damage.
Repair. How to make it right at home after a blowup.

The goal is strength under control: a calmer home and a clearer head at work.

Experience behind this work

I led probation-approved anger management and domestic violence groups in San Diego and served on the Executive Board of the San Diego Domestic Violence Council in 2005. In San Diego I helped bring family violence treatment and substance abuse treatment together, because anger and addiction so often travel as a pair. Anger work has been part of my practice for more than two decades.

What a first session is like

Book with Mark. Your insurance is checked before the session. We meet by secure video from anywhere private. You tell me what brought you in. I ask direct questions and listen. Before we finish, we agree on one clear first step.

Common questions

Is this a court-ordered anger management class?

No. This is individual therapy, not a court-approved class, and I do not issue completion certificates. If a court or employer requires a specific program, check their requirements first.

Is anger management therapy private?

Yes. Sessions are confidential, within the limits the law sets for all therapists. We go over those limits in the first session.

My spouse says I have an anger problem. I am not sure I do. Should I come in?

Yes. You do not have to agree with the label to look at what is happening. One honest conversation will tell us both a great deal.

Can anger be a sign of something else?

Often. Anger can sit on top of stress, depression, anxiety, ADHD, or an old injury. We look at the whole picture.

Do you take insurance for anger management?

Many major plans are accepted. Use "Check my insurance" to find your plan and book. Private pay is also available.

Ready to start?

No insurance? See private pay.

Not ready to book? Start with the free workbook.

Mark Spurlock, LMFT. California license 45318. Counseling since 1998. Licensed since 2008. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.